Bigger Person
Lauren Spencer Smith Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴When you'd yell, I would stay silent
You never noticed I was quiet
I was taught that speaking up was talking back
Always first to say I'm sorry
'Cause I wanted you to like me
And I thought that's what it took to make it last
That I don't choose
But you don't always choose the ones you love
I shouldn't have to be the bigger person
How come I have to break to keep us workin'?
It's always up to me
Even though it shouldn't be
I will take the blame the way you want me to
'Cause that's what I do for you
I was half of this dynamic
I was stable, you were manic
Without you or with you comes with a cost
I got used to the excuses
And emotional abuses
We kept moving the lines we'd never cross
It's a lose-lose
That I don't choose
But you don't always choose the ones you love
I shouldn't have to be the bigger person
How come I have to break to keep us workin'?
It's always up to me
Even though it shouldn't be
I will take the blame the way you want me to
'Cause that's what I do for you
I always think it's over
But it never really is
'Cause I can't get the closure
When you're like this
Can we switch?
Maybe this time, you'll be the bigger person
'Cause I'm gettin' tired of bearin' all your burden
It should be up to you
But you won't admit the truth, ohh-oh-ohh
I shouldn't have to be the bigger person
How come I have to break to keep us workin'?
It's always up to me
Even though it shouldn't be
I'll take the blame the way you want me to
'Cause that's what I do for you
Overall Meaning
The lyrics of Lauren Spencer Smith's song "Bigger Person" delve into the dynamics of a toxic relationship where one person constantly takes on the role of the "bigger person," always putting aside their own needs and emotions for the sake of keeping the relationship intact. The singer reflects on their own silence and passive behavior in the face of conflict, emphasizing the idea that they were taught that speaking up was seen as talking back. They admit to always being the first to apologize, desperately seeking the other person's approval and believing that being submissive is necessary for the relationship to endure.
The singer highlights the unequal distribution of responsibility in the relationship, expressing their frustration at always having to be the one to take the blame and make sacrifices. They acknowledge the unhealthy patterns of emotional abuse and blurred boundaries that they have become accustomed to, as well as the toll it takes on them. Despite recognizing the lose-lose situation they find themselves in, they also acknowledge that love doesn't always allow for choice.
Towards the end of the song, the singer expresses a glimmer of hope that maybe this time, the other person will step up and be the bigger person. They express their exhaustion in shouldering the burden alone and yearn for the other person to take responsibility and admit the truth. Ultimately, the song explores the nuances of power dynamics and emotional manipulation within relationships, questioning societal expectations of who should be the "bigger person" and highlighting the toll it takes on individuals.
Line by Line Meaning
When you'd yell, I would stay silent
Even when you raised your voice and got angry, I would choose to remain quiet and not engage in an argument.
You never noticed I was quiet
You failed to realize that my silence was a sign of my compliance and effort to keep the peace.
I was taught that speaking up was talking back
I learned that expressing my opinions or standing up for myself was considered disobedience, or talking back.
Always first to say I'm sorry
I would always be the one to apologize first, hoping that by doing so, you would like me and the relationship would improve.
'Cause I wanted you to like me
Because I desired your approval and wanted you to hold positive feelings towards me.
And I thought that's what it took to make it last
I believed that constantly apologizing and seeking your validation was necessary for our relationship to endure.
It's a lose-lose
The situation I find myself in is disadvantageous for me, no matter how I handle it.
That I don't choose
Unfortunately, I cannot control or decide the circumstances I am facing.
But you don't always choose the ones you love
Love doesn't always allow us to select the people we have feelings for, even if they mistreat us.
I shouldn't have to be the bigger person
It is unfair and unreasonable for me to constantly assume the role of being more mature and understanding in this relationship.
How come I have to break to keep us workin'?
Why am I the one who always has to sacrifice my own well-being and compromise to maintain the functionality of our relationship?
It's always up to me
The responsibility of maintaining harmony and resolving conflicts in our relationship consistently falls on my shoulders.
Even though it shouldn't be
Despite the fact that it should be a shared responsibility between both parties involved.
I will take the blame the way you want me to
I am willing to accept the blame and shoulder the burden according to your desires and expectations.
'Cause that's what I do for you
Because I am accustomed to prioritizing your needs and fulfilling your expectations, it has become my norm.
I was half of this dynamic
I played a significant role in this relationship, contributing my share to the dynamics between us.
I was stable you were manic
While I remained emotionally balanced and composed, you often exhibited unstable and unpredictable behavior.
Without you or with you comes with a cost
Both being in a relationship with you or without you has its consequences and implications.
I got used to the excuses
I became accustomed to accepting and tolerating your justifications for your actions or behavior.
And emotional abuses
Additionally, I grew accustomed to enduring emotional mistreatment or manipulation from you.
We kept moving the lines we'd never cross
We continually pushed the boundaries of what we considered acceptable behavior, despite knowing they were boundaries we should never violate.
I always think it's over
I frequently believe that our relationship has come to an end or reached its breaking point.
But it never really is
However, it never truly concludes or resolves itself.
'Cause I can't get the closure
Because I am unable to obtain the closure or resolution I need.
When you're like this
When you continue to behave or treat me in the same negative manner.
Can we switch?
Is it possible for our roles to be reversed or for you to take on the responsibilities that have burdened me?
Maybe this time, you'll be the bigger person
Perhaps, for once, you will step up and demonstrate maturity and understanding in our relationship.
'Cause I'm gettin' tired of bearin' all your burden
Because I am growing weary of carrying the weight of your problems and responsibilities on my own.
It should be up to you
The responsibility and choice to improve and maintain our relationship should fall on your shoulders.
But you won't admit the truth, oh, oh, oh
Yet, you refuse to acknowledge or accept the reality of the situation, denying any faults or shortcomings.
I'll take the blame the way you want me to
Once again, I will assume guilt and bear the accusations as per your desires and expectations.
'Cause that's what I do for you
For you, I continuously sacrifice and conform to fulfill your needs and expectations.
Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Geena Fontanella, Lauren Spencer Smith, Thomas Daniel
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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